Knockout Quote No 434, Maguire, This ‘nice God’ hypothesis does run into some knotty problemsCCKQ No 676, Gerry, Fundamentalists deliberately strive to build themselves a wall of Bibles to keep it at bayMcKellar, If he ever did return, it would be as a fifty-pound lump of bone and frozen jerkyMadison, Why isn’t membership in the Catholic Church down to ZERO by now?So when my spirit starts to sag, I hustle out my highest dragThere’s no business like show business, the costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the propsI feel pretty, oh so pretty, and I pity any girl who isn’t me tonightKnockout Quote No 493, Conner, Christians just live in a different time zone than the rest of usCCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredderCCKQ No 571, TBO 100, I read the Bible cover-to-cover as a young man, but I’d rather read Proust in Finnish than do that againCCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredderKnockout Quote No 486, Hubbard, the answers are usually blah blah context blah blah mysterious ways blah blah metaphor blah blahKnockout Quote No 468, Conner, It is the Holy Spirit that convinces someone of the truthKnockout Quote No 465, Gericke, Yahweh is like Donald DuckKnockout Quote No 463, Without Malice, The one thing you would never hear such a being say is, Oops, didn’t see that comingKnockout Quote No 462, Without Malice,Thus 2,000 years of Christians going at each other’s throats over idiotic dogmasKnockout Quote No 444, Conner, The Holy Spirit is flitting around the world whispering into the temporal lobes of billions of peopleKnockout Quote No 170, Twain & Bunker, Faoth is…Knockout Quote No 169, Carlin, This guy would have been out on his all-powerful ass a long time agoKnockout Quote No 260, Wilde:Bierce, A theologian is like man going into the depths of a cave at midnightKnockout Quote No 265, RealHarryWiddifield, Your prayers are fart bubbles in the bathtub of the cosmosKnockout Quote No 306, Sayers, “I don’t think you ought to read so much theology,” said Lord PeterKnockout Quote No 308, Tarico, Athletes huddle in prayer before a game, just in case those random bounces aren’t randomKnockout Quote No 380, Zingrone,So, go bowling next Sunday instead of attending church and have a good timeKnockout Quote No 430, Bo Daniel, It’s all part of God’s plan is such a breathtakingly witless defenseKnockout Quote No 420, Congerton,The Holy Fact Checker seems to have been on sick leaveKnockout Quote No 422, Carter, So many theologians love to meet at pubs.Knockout Quote No 424, Lindsay, Religion is believing there’s a diamond the size of a refrigerator buried in your yardKnockout Quote No 428, Carlin,You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci
5 thoughts on “Funny Atheist Quotes”
All brilliant – thank you. My book is called The Little Red Bible Book and I must’ve sold close to a dozen by now.
Nothing. All that and you have nothing that denies CHRIST is real. Not a single that. Oh, of course, you offer some humor to undermine HIM, but that is evidence.
You see, your problem is simple. You refuse to see HIM hanging there in the red mist of time. You choose to create and rejoice in all kinds of distractions in order not to look too closely at that guy dying a brutal death before a few lonely, grieving women and some dude.
It happened. And you gamble and laugh. You shout, “Come down from there you lying phony. Prove you are GOD” and slap each other on the back, having a big old time. You are like most.
Thinking folks realize that His disciples who were frightened, depressed, so sad and defeated, believed HE came back from the Cross, that He arose and made Himself known to them and shook up the entire world because they were convinced HE WAS ALIVE.
There are no facts to back up your nonsense, Jason P. Facts are true without requiring belief. Nonsense can be believed without being true, and calling it true, just because you want it to be true doesn’t make it true.
You cannot be a Christian without being dishonest. Dishonest to others, dishonest to yourself. It also requires a certain amount of arrogance.
Deuteronomy 23:13 tells you all you need to know about the origin of gods.
It’s a weird reality, I went searching for funny quotes and humor. I just read several pages on Christian, mostly Catholic humor. Things said by Christians. Then I came to this page. BOTH were full of jokes about Christians and Christianity. Clearly, atheism is no joking matter.
I can’t believe most of the population of our planet is wrapped up in believing all the rubbish in religious texts. You know, if every fantasy novel was marketed as religious texts, I think that we’d have a lot more religions to argue over.
All brilliant – thank you. My book is called The Little Red Bible Book and I must’ve sold close to a dozen by now.
Nothing. All that and you have nothing that denies CHRIST is real. Not a single that. Oh, of course, you offer some humor to undermine HIM, but that is evidence.
You see, your problem is simple. You refuse to see HIM hanging there in the red mist of time. You choose to create and rejoice in all kinds of distractions in order not to look too closely at that guy dying a brutal death before a few lonely, grieving women and some dude.
It happened. And you gamble and laugh. You shout, “Come down from there you lying phony. Prove you are GOD” and slap each other on the back, having a big old time. You are like most.
Thinking folks realize that His disciples who were frightened, depressed, so sad and defeated, believed HE came back from the Cross, that He arose and made Himself known to them and shook up the entire world because they were convinced HE WAS ALIVE.
There are no facts to back up your nonsense, Jason P. Facts are true without requiring belief. Nonsense can be believed without being true, and calling it true, just because you want it to be true doesn’t make it true.
You cannot be a Christian without being dishonest. Dishonest to others, dishonest to yourself. It also requires a certain amount of arrogance.
Deuteronomy 23:13 tells you all you need to know about the origin of gods.
Watch where you step.
It’s a weird reality, I went searching for funny quotes and humor. I just read several pages on Christian, mostly Catholic humor. Things said by Christians. Then I came to this page. BOTH were full of jokes about Christians and Christianity. Clearly, atheism is no joking matter.
I can’t believe most of the population of our planet is wrapped up in believing all the rubbish in religious texts. You know, if every fantasy novel was marketed as religious texts, I think that we’d have a lot more religions to argue over.